


Time of Need

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Domestic Discipline, Drama, Fiction, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-04-23
Updated: 2002-04-23
Packaged: 2018-11-21 01:25:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11347062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Fox and Alex renegotiate their relationship while Walter is ill.





	Time of Need

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Time of Need

## Time of Need

#### by Elizabeth Marshall

Title: Time of Need  
Author: Elizabeth Marshall  
Feedback to:   
Author's Website:   
Date Archived: 04/23/02  
Category: Drama, Story, Romance, Relationship, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, PWP, BDSM, Domestic Discipline     
Pairing: Mulder/Skinner/Krycek         
Rating: NC-17  
Spoilers: NONE  
Permission to Archive: Persuaders, DITB, others please ask  
Series or Sequel/Prequel: Adult Education series  
Notes: Dedication: For Lorelei, in celebration of her return to health  
Warnings: Adult readers only. M/m sex, discipline. If the idea of a discipline relationship between three consenting adult males offends you, so will this story.  
Disclaimer: The characters Walter Skinner, Fox Mulder and Alex Krycek were created by Chris Carter.  
Summary: Fox and Alex renegotiate their relationship while Walter is ill.

* * *

Bone weary, wanting only to sleep, Walter sank gratefully into the turned down bed. Fox was waiting in the warm darkness, clearly erect. He rolled toward Walter, kissed him deeply and lovingly. Tired as he was, Walter felt an answering hardness in his own groin. 

It was not until the wee hours of the morning that Alex, who had been surfing the net in a desultory fashion, finally joined them in bed. He could tell Walter had fucked Fox thoroughly. 

Fox lay serene and happy; Walter lay sated and happy. 

Alex lay unsatisfied and unhappy. He felt jealous and left out. 

"Fox?" Alex whispered. 

"Love you, Alex," Fox said sleepily. 

"Walter?" Alex tried tentatively. 

"Love you, Alex," Walter said. "In the morning, I promise. Let's sleep now." 

Lazy SOBs. I'm not tired. I don't want to sleep yet. 

Alex scowled resentfully. With a practiced hand and mouth he licked and stroked his way down Walter's torso. Took Walter's limp cock deep in his mouth, and began to tongue it back to life. 

Despite his exhaustion, Walter felt himself waking, stiffening. Damn, Alex knew exactly which spots made him writhe with pleasure. Walter moaned involuntarily as Alex repeated the caress. Amazingly, he was hard once again. 

"Please, Walter, I need you in me, " Alex begged. "Please, I want you so bad..." He arched his back, rubbing against Walter like a cat in heat. 

"Alex, you really don't know how to take no for an answer," Walter laughed. He turned Alex onto his belly and tugged Alex's hips up, thrusting a pillow underneath to support him. Alex sprawled over it, fully open to Walter, his head resting sideways on his forearm, his eyes half closed. 

"Oh, yes, Walter," he purred. "I'll be good for you. Fuck me." 

What Alex wants, Alex gets, Walter thought ruefully. He worked a generously lubed finger into Alex's ass, felt Alex relax his muscles to allow the penetration. Ran his slick hand over his now erect cock. Pressed forward into his eager lover and began to move slowly. 

Alex moaned with pleasure and not a little self-satisfaction. 

Walter felt a sudden, sharp sensation in his diaphragm. He hesitated a moment. A jolt of hot pain, a squeezing ache in his chest. He rolled sideways off Alex. His arm ached. He felt nauseous. Dizzy. 

"My heart," Walter gasped. "Fox! My heart." 

Fox had the emergency operator on the line within seconds. Clearly, coolly, capably, he gave the house number and outlined the situation. 

Fox slipped Walter's boxers on and used the abandoned pillows to elevate his legs. Draping the blanket over Walter, Fox stroked his icy forehead, murmuring reassurance. 

Alex had backed up against the headboard, tangling himself in the sheet. He drew his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly with his good arm. Dropping his head, he began to rock, his movements so small as to be almost undetectable. 

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit 

The ambulance was fast, Fox would grant them that. He hunched his shoulders at the unspoken condescension he felt radiating off some of the EMS team and tried resolutely to block out the dirty jokes he could almost hear forming in one technician's mind. 

"Walter, you're going to be fine," Fox promised, hoping he was right. "I'll follow in my car. You're going to be OK. I love you." Looking straight at the smirking technician, Fox kissed Walter's forehead gently. 

"We'll take good care of your partner," the older technician said softly, picking up her equipment and following the stretcher to the ambulance. 

Fox forced his queasy stomach down. There was no time to be sick; Walter needed him. 

Still huddled in their bed, Alex gnawed at his good hand, his eyes dazed and blank. 

"Alex, hurry. Get dressed. We've got to follow the ambulance," Fox said, searching his dresser top for wallet and keys. 

"Alex, come on!" 

Neither speech nor movement from Alex, only shallow, labored breathing. 

"Shit, Alex, don't do this to me!" Fox bent over the bed and shook Alex, hard. 

Alex didn't respond. 

"Alex, Alex, I need you to look at me. Alex, damn it, we don't have time for this. I need to get to the hospital, Alex. Come with me, or...." Fox stopped abruptly. Alex was clearly not there. Shit. Damn. Fuck. 

Moving swiftly, Fox rummaged in the depths of his dresser. Held something close to his body. 

"I need to go to Walter, Alex, and I need to be sure you're here when I return, " Fox said, straddling Alex and seizing his good arm. "Which is why I'm going to cuff you." 

Not allowing his words to sink in, Fox clipped one handcuff to Alex's good wrist and secured Alex to the bed frame in such a way that Alex could turn, but not get loose. 

Suddenly reanimated, Alex kicked and twisted, unseating Fox. 

"No, Fox, no! Don't do this to me, Fox! It wasn't my fault! I didn't mean to hurt him! Please, Fox, no!" 

Fox shook his head, his usually expressive face closed tight against any show of emotion. No time to work it out now. 

"Shh, Alex, shh, I just want to be sure you stay put. I'm not blaming you " Fox took Alex's face in both hands, kissed him firmly. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Promise." 

"No, Fox, no..." 

Alone, Alex began to shake. 

I want to die, please let me die, please. 

Shit. Motherfucker. 

Alex yanked the cuff, hard. Felt the metal cut his wrist. Welcomed the pain. 

Maybe I can cut a vein. Then I can bleed to death. 

Fox caught up with Walter in the emergency room. He ran his eyes quickly over the banks of monitors, unable to interpret them. Forcing a reassuring expression, he called Walter's name softly. 

Walter's eyes opened wearily. They were dark with pain and shock. 

"Fox," Walter breathed, his lips moving weakly. Nasal prongs held the supplemental oxygen tube to his face. 

Fox grimaced at how short of breath Walter was. 

"Don't talk now, Walter. Everything's under control." 

"Alex?" Walter whispered. 

"Alex is home," Fox confessed unhappily. 

Walter groaned. 

"Home, Fox," Walter struggled to form words. "I'm fine. Alex... Go." He took a deep hit of oxygen. 

"You're not fine, you idiot," Fox said, kissing Walter's forehead. "You just had a heart attack. I'm not going to leave you. Just rest, Walter. " He smoothed his fingers over Walter's stubbled cheek. "Don't worry, Walter; I'll take care of Alex." 

"Thirsty," Walter said. 

Fox signaled the nurse, who brought him a cup of ice chips. Slowly, tenderly, he slipped the cold morsels into Walter's dry mouth. 

Various forms were thrust at Fox. He filled them out meticulously, aware of the irony. In all their years at the Bureau, Walter had never managed to coerce such beautiful documents from Fox's hand. 

Their private physician was paged. 

"Mr. Mulder. How is our friend?" Rapidly, their doctor scanned Walter's chart, examined the bank of instruments. 

"Walter, how do you feel?" 

"Exhausted," Walter said softly. "Not too bad." 

"From what I can see, it could have been a lot worse. We're going to move you to the cardiac unit. I want to do some tests. But as far as I can tell, you got off lightly. We'll keep an eye on you for a few days." 

"Fox, go home," Walter whispered. "I'm fine. Take care of Alex." 

Much as he wanted to stay with Walter, Fox knew he could not leave Alex alone in his current state. As he drove home, he mused over how to approach Alex. Reassurance, he decided. Reassurance that Walter's heart attack was not his fault. 

It could just as easily have been me, Fox thought. A cold chill ran through him. 

Re-entering their bedroom, Fox flinched at the sight of Alex, his good arm unnaturally extended, sprawled half-on and half-off the bed. Alex's eyes were wide and blank. He seemed unaware of Fox's presence. 

Hastily, Fox unclipped the handcuffs and eased Alex fully onto the bed. Straightened the bedclothes, smoothed Alex's disheveled hair. Cupped one hand around Alex's cheek and chin, ran his thumb over Alex's dry, cracked lips. 

"Alex," Fox said quietly. "Where are you, Alex? Come back now, it's all right, you're safe. Come on, Alex, I've got you. Come on, that's it, come back to me now." He patted Alex's cheek lightly. 

Alex surfaced abruptly. 

"Fox? Fox? No, Fox, let me go! I hate you, Fox, I really hate you..." Alex pulled back hard. 

Fox gritted his teeth and held on to Alex's good arm grimly. 

"What the fuck did you do this for, Alex?" Fox asked, wincing at Alex's gouged and bloody wrist. 

"What the fuck do you care, Fox?" Alex flinched. "You're going to hurt me anyway, what the fuck does it matter if I start the job myself?" 

Fox took a deep breath. Reminded himself of his promise to Walter. Reminded himself of how damaged Alex really was. Drew on every reserve of patience he possessed. 

"I'm sorry I had to cuff you like that, Alex. I needed to go to Walter. You were in no shape to come with me, Alex, you were completely out of it." Fox tried to contain his exasperation. "I'm only angry that you got hurt, not about what happened. It wasn't your fault, Alex." 

"It happened before, Fox," Alex whispered. "I was nineteen. I didn't mean to kill him, Fox. He was nice to me; he used to let me sleep in his bed afterwards. He was fucking me and then he was dead." 

"Shit, Alex." Fox grimaced. 

"They said I had to be taught a lesson. They used a knife. They hurt me bad, Fox." 

Fox cursed silently, horrified at the image. Those bastards, those motherfucking bastards. 

"I didn't mean to kill him. I didn't mean to hurt Walter," Alex repeated, misunderstanding Fox's set, angry face. 

"It wasn't your fault. I know you'd never hurt Walter on purpose," Fox used his gentlest voice, reading Alex's mistrustful expression correctly. "I'm not going to hurt you." 

Alex shivered. He had hurt Walter; he deserved to be hurt. 

"Come on in the bathroom; let's clean you up," Fox coaxed. 

Alex sat soberly on the closed toilet seat as Fox washed and bandaged his wrist. 

"I'll be gone before he gets back. I'm sorry, Fox. I didn't mean for this to happen." 

"Alex, shut up," Fox snapped, struggling to contain his own feeling of panic. What if he lost Alex? "Don't be selfish." 

Green eyes huge with apprehension, Alex tried to follow Fox's logic. 

"Does Walter hate me now?" he asked Fox sadly. 

"Walter loves you, Alex. The first thing Walter thought of was you. He sent me home to look after you." 

Fox watched the play of emotions across Alex's white face, calculating rapidly. Alex needed to see Walter, he decided. However badly off Walter actually was, he was better off than Alex was imagining. He glanced at the window. It was already morning. 

"Get dressed, Alex. We're going to see Walter." 

Alex looked at Fox in disbelief. 

"He won't want to see me, Fox," Alex said slowly. The thought hurt more than any beating he had ever received. "I hurt him, Fox. I could have killed him. He won't ever want to see me again." 

"Do as I say." Fox's tone left no room for disagreement. 

"I don't like this. I don't like this at all," Alex protested. 

"You don't have to like it." Fox said in his firmest voice. "But you are going to visit Walter. " 

Alex pulled clothes from his dresser, toed into his boots, and shrugged into his jacket. 

"Fox, please, don't make me do this." 

"In the car, Alex." Fox said curtly. He was tired and stressed, and his tone was harsh. 

Alex remembered how hard Fox could hit. Without further protest, he got into the car. It didn't take long to get to the hospital. Fox pulled his car into the parking lot. 

"Come with me now, Alex," Fox said, trying for the right mix of command and reassurance. "You need to do this for Walter." Fox propelled Alex past the visitor's information center and into the curtained alcove in the cardiac unit where Walter lay. 

Alex froze at the sight of Walter's still form, connected by wires and tubes to a blinking monitor. 

Fox shoved Alex towards Walter's bed. Alex bent penitently over Walter. Sighed unhappily. 

"Walter?" 

"Alex." Walter opened his eyes at the familiar voice. The green eyes that met his were wide and scared. 

"I'm sorry Walter, I'm sorry. Don't die, please don't die..." 

Fox took Alex's arm firmly and pushed him into a chair. 

"Sit down, Alex. Now. You're upsetting Walter." 

Alex wilted visibly. He huddled into himself, his eyes fixed on the floor. 

"Fox." Walter tried to get his breath. 

"Walter, rest. I'll take care of Alex. Trust me," Fox said quietly. 

Walter closed his eyes wearily. He would trust Fox. 

Fox led a silent, dejected Alex back to the parking lot. Alex slumped against the car door. 

"I'm a fucking asshole," Alex berated himself. 

"You didn't mean to do anything wrong. You can't help being upset." Fox tried to be patient. 

"You should beat the shit out of me for making him sick in the first place." Alex turned to look at Fox. "Punish me, Fox. Like Walter does. " 

"What, you want me to spank you?" Fox gaped at Alex. 

"Use the fucking cane if you want; I deserve it," Alex said wretchedly. 

"I'm not going to cane you, Alex. You're afraid of the cane. I can't use it to punish you." 

"Your belt, then." 

"I used to get strapped by my father. It hurts, Alex." Fox watched Alex's expression carefully. 

"Fucking right it does. I deserve it, Fox." Alex's voice was dry and dull. 

"Fine." Fox was tired, sad and worried. He had taken charge from the moment Walter had clutched his chest in pain. He was exhausted. Alex was asking too much. 

"Fine, Alex, I'll punish you. Now get in the car, Alex. I just want to get home." 

Alex slumped in his seat, his shoulders hunched, his head down. His dark hair fell forward, obscuring his vision. His stomach hurt. Walter, he cried silently, Walter. I'm lost. 

Pulling into the driveway, Fox looked unhappily at Alex. Alex's shame was evident in every line of his body. The two men trudged into the house. 

Alex shed his jacket. He had fallen into the habit of tossing it over the back of a chair, but today he hung it carefully in the closet. 

See Walter, I'm being neat. 

Alex toed out of his boots; stood them side by side on the closet floor. 

Look Walter, I'm being good. 

Fox threw his jacket across the couch, kicked his sneakers onto the floor. Fuck it. If Walter wasn't there to complain, what was the point of putting things away? 

Alex's ostentatious neatness grated on him. Fox knew how guilt felt. Maybe being punished would help Alex; Fox himself sometimes craved Walter's punishments. 

Besides, Walter let Alex get away with murder. 

Alex studied Fox's face covertly, unsure what to make of its mixture of resentment and resolve. 

Fox ignored the tightness in his gut that warned him that whipping Alex was a Very Bad idea. 

"Alex. You asked me to punish you. Come with me now." 

Alex followed Fox obediently into the dining room. "This is going to hurt, Alex, you understand? It's not like the love taps you get from Walter," Fox warned, feeling the usual niggling irritation at how lightly Walter always let Alex off. 

"I understand." Resignation in Alex's voice. The difference in their punishments was a sore spot with Fox. "Just fucking do it, Fox." 

"Take your jeans and underwear off and bend over the table. Hold onto the edge, Alex." Fox tried to push away his troubled emotions. It was too easy to imagine himself in Alex's position. His father had been very fond of this method of punishment. 

Alex bent over the chilly wooden surface. He widened his legs slightly, the stance uncomfortably familiar. It was how he had been bent, countless times, over the desk before the Englishman. His buttocks clenched involuntarily. Resolutely, he steeled himself against the pain he knew was coming. Pain he knew he deserved. 

"Why are you being punished, Alex?" Fox unbuckled his belt, slipped it from around his waist. Held it tentatively. 

"I hurt Walter. I made him fuck me and he almost died and it's my fucking fault." 

"No, Alex. It was an accident. I know that, Walter knows that. You're the only one who doesn't know that. Shit. When I'm through with you, you are going to understand that too, because you're going to be too sore not to be." 

Fox doubled his belt and brought it down hard and fast. 

Suddenly panic stricken, Alex twisted sideways, letting out an unholy shriek as the strap caught the tender, unprotected bone of his hip. He cowered on the floor, breathing hard. 

"Shit! Shit!! Shit!!!" Fox slammed the belt down on the table. "What the fuck did you do that for, Alex? Damn you!" 

"I'm sorry, Fox, I'm sorry. My fault. Just, we did this before, Fox, you hurting me. I got scared," Alex panted. He cringed as Fox bent over him, extending his hand. 

"Alex, it's all right now, I'm not going to hit you. Shh... I didn't realize... Come here now, see, I put the belt away. I won't hurt you again. Come to me." 

Tentatively, Alex took Fox's hand and let himself be drawn to his feet and into Fox's arms. Fox stroked Alex's dark hair gently. 

"Fox, I can't stay here if you're going to whip me," Alex whispered miserably. 

"Shh, Alex, it's all right. Come with me now." 

Alex let Fox propel him into the bedroom. 

Fox studied the welt on Alex's hip. 

"That's got to hurt." Fox looked sad. "Shit. And I told Walter I'd take care of you. I'm sorry, Alex. Lie down; let me get you some salve." 

"It was my fault, Fox." Alex buried his face in the pillows. 

Fox seated himself alongside Alex. 

"Shh, Alex, it's all right," Fox soothed, rubbing Alex's back comfortingly. 

"Don't." Alex arched away from Fox's well-meaning caress. Fuck cuddling, he needed Fox's cock. Curling his head into Fox's lap, Alex used his teeth to tease Fox's zipper open. He felt Fox's cock stiffen. 

Fox sighed at the sweet feel of Alex's warm breath through the thin cotton of his boxers. Maybe a good hard fuck was what they both needed. He popped the button on his jeans and lay back. Raising his hips, he worked his jeans and boxers off. 

Alex lapped gently at the silken head of Fox's cock, letting Fox's particular scent caress his nostrils and focus his mind. Slid his mouth the length of Fox's cock, letting the head touch the back of his throat. Fox. Fox. The mantra repeated in Alex's head as he worked his mouth over the hot, engorged shaft. Fox. 

Fox came violently, his whole body contracting. His hips off the bed, his cum flooding Alex's mouth. Alex swallowed a bit, let the rest spill down his chin and onto Fox's thigh. 

"That was--" Fox began, still breathing hard. 

Alex rolled Fox onto his stomach, slipped cum slicked fingers between Fox's buttocks and began to press inwards. 

"Wait, Alex, wait," Fox said, stretching for the lube. "Here." He squeezed a generous gob into his own palm and extended his hand behind him in a practiced gesture. Alex dipped his fingers into the offered gel and massaged it into Fox's anus. Pressed two crossed digits inside Fox, and spreading them, coaxed Fox's tight muscles looser. 

Withdrawing his hand and refreshing it with another swipe of lubricant, Alex caressed his own cock, leaving it hard and slick. Straddling Fox, Alex held his cock to the now softened opening and leaned forward, letting his weight press him deep into Fox. Alex took him in long, steady strokes, intent on his own orgasm. 

Fox groaned with pleasure as Alex's cock stroked him internally. Sighed at the sensation of hot cum spilling inside him; smiled at Alex's mumbled curses and endearments. 

Alex lay quietly on top of Fox. Felt his cock slip from Fox's warm body. He felt only emptiness. 

Fox sensed Alex's shift in mood. Rolling sideward, he tipped Alex next to him. Took Alex's chin in his hand and claimed his sad mouth with a strong, caring kiss. 

"What's wrong, Alex?" 

"I want Walter." 

"I know, Alex. So do I." Fox stroked Alex's hair gently, watched the green eyes half close, only to fly open at the smallest shift of the bed. 

"Settle down, Alex. I've got you. You're safe." 

Alex shook his head. No. 

"You hurt me, Fox," Alex whispered. Curling into a small, sad ball, he subsided into troubled sleep. 

Fox lay silently in the lonely dark, berating himself. Shit. He had fucked up. 

Alex awoke with a start. The bed was empty. Alarmed, he went in search of Fox. He found Fox sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window into the dark. 

"What did I do?" Alex asked tentatively, trying to interpret Fox's expression. "Am I in trouble?" 

Fox looked at Alex and sighed. 

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who deserves to be punished. Alex, I want you to cane me." 

"Cane you?" Alex looked at Fox, disbelief written in every line of his face. "Are you fucking crazy?" 

"Fuck you too, Alex," Fox said wearily, turning back to the window. 

"No, Fox, I'm sorry," Alex said hastily. "I didn't mean to say that," he continued uncertainly. "It's just..." 

"I know. You hate being caned. Well, shit, Alex, I need it. It does something for me. Help me out here." 

"All right, Fox," Alex said placatingly. Dubiously. "Tell me what you need." 

"You know the routine, right?" 

"Oh yeah. The Englishman made sure of that." Alex laughed humorlessly. 

"I need the whole trip, Alex. I don't want you to stop, no matter what I say. It's punishment. I don't want a safe word. 

Alex retreated deeper into himself. Shut down. 

Fox showed no sign of recognizing just how scared of this mandate Alex was. He was totally centered on his own desire for the sort of cleansing punishment Walter had taught him to expect. On the release and the relief that the cane and the pain inevitably brought in Walter's hands. 

"Come on, Alex. The cane's in Walter's office." 

Alex trailed Fox reluctantly down the hall and into the familiar room. 

Fox rummaged under Walter's desk for the slender rod and extended the cane to Alex. 

"Give me six of the best, Alex," Fox ordered. 

Alex inhaled deeply; blew his breath out slowly. Studied Fox with eyes gone curiously blank. His voice when he finally spoke was cold and sure. 

"Fox Mulder. Take off your pants and underwear, bend over the chair and don't move." 

Fox's stomach jumped. He looked sideways at Alex, admiring how easily Alex took on the role of disciplinarian. 

"I don't like to be made to wait, Fox." 

Fox blanched. Perhaps a bit too easily. 

"Now, Fox." 

"Alex," Fox said hesitantly, suddenly uneasy. 

"Not another word, Fox. I will double the number of strokes if you don't do as I say. Undress. Bend over." 

Fox obeyed Alex's severe command without further protest. 

"Shall we begin?" Alex asked, laying the cane carefully, measuringly against Fox's unmarked flesh. 

Fox shivered. The wonderful scary feeling was back. 

Alex brought the cane down sharply. 

"Shit! Ow! Ow!!" Fox wailed. 

"Answer me the next time I speak to you, Fox. Answer me politely." 

A second swish of the cane. 

"No! Oh shit! What the fuck was that! Shit!" 

"Count Fox, and thank me. Or I'll start over." 

"Alex--" 

"Sir, Fox." The cane whistled through the air, leaving another fiery stripe in its wake. "You call me 'sir.' Count, Fox. Thank me properly. Do it right or I'll start over again." Alex's voice was ice. 

The initial thrill of Alex's mastery was giving way to terror. 

"Please, Alex, no more..." Fox begged. Used to Walter's patient reassurance, he was unprepared for Alex's reaction. 

Alex slashed the cane down across Fox's vulnerable thighs three times in quick succession. 

"Sir, Fox," he said coldly. "You'll take what you have coming, and you'll thank me for it. Do you understand me, or must we start again?" 

Fox gasped for air. This was not one of Walter's measured punishments. This was what Alex had grown up with, pain uncaring and inescapable. 

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Grimly, Fox resigned himself to learning first-hand just what lessons the Consortium had taught Alex about obedience. 

"From one, Fox. Count. Thank me." Alex brought the cane down hard, as implacable as the Consortium taskmasters he himself had known. 

"Ow! Ow!! Ow!!!" Fox yelped painfully. 

"Count, thank me. I won't remind you again." Alex sounded almost bored. 

"One, sir. Thank you, sir." 

Alex studied the striped ass before him. Swished the cane down hard over the base of the tense buttocks. Noted the stripe it left. 

"Two, thank you, sir," Fox said, gritting his teeth. 

Another carefully aimed stroke; another line of pain. 

"Three, thank you, sir," Fox gasped. This was no game. 

Alex felt nothing but vague curiosity as he brought the cane down across the juncture between buttocks and thighs. How long would it be until Fox broke? 

"Four, sir, thank you, sir," Fox sobbed. It hurt. Oh shit it hurt. 

So it had taken not quite a dozen strokes; four counted, another half dozen or so uncounted. Interesting. Alex let the next stroke of the cane bisect the previous strokes. 

"Ow! Oh god, oh god," Fox moaned. 

Another burning stripe. 

"Count, Fox. I won't count the strokes that you don't." 

"Five, sir, five, thank you, sir," Fox choked out. Too much, Alex, too much, he screamed in his mind. 

The cane came down diagonally across his striped and throbbing ass. 

"Six! Six! Thank you, sir!" Fox screamed at the top of his lungs. Stood up, pain shooting through him. "Fuck you, Alex, you asshole, what the fuck is the matter with you?" 

Alex dropped the cane to the floor. His eyes were huge, his face like chalk. 

"You made me do this, Fox," he said dazedly, wretchedly. "I didn't want to." 

"And did you enjoy it, Alex?" Fox's voice was loud and harsh with anger. "Did you enjoy making me scream? Is this what you've always wanted, Alex? Me, at your mercy?" 

Alex's breathing roughened as Fox advanced on him. Ducking around Fox, he fled the room. 

Fox held his breath, hoping against hope not to hear the back door slam. Was relieved to hear only silence. 

Fox's ass hurt. He explored his buttocks with tentative fingers. Welts, but no cuts, no blood. So Alex had been careful, in his own fashion. 

Fox's heart hurt. He had wanted forgiveness. Alex hadn't offered it. Fox couldn't forgive himself. Only Walter could make things right. And Walter was too sick to be burdened. 

Fox felt the familiar, dull weight of guilt and sadness fall like a mantle about his shoulders. Darkness, my old friend. He retrieved his boxers. Clenched his buttocks as the well-washed cotton brushed the fresh stripes. Stumbled to their bedroom and sprawled, face down, across their bed. 

I miss you, Walter, Fox thought hopelessly. He hurt too much to cry. 

Fox started at the sound of Alex's light footsteps. Turning his head sideways, he watched bemusedly as Alex slid gracefully onto the bed, a bowl balanced atop the glass in his hand. 

Alex curled carefully around Fox's back, mindful of his sore ass. 

"Look Fox, see what I got? " He proffered the bowl of sunflower seeds, topped with two unfamiliar white pills. Fox studied their markings curiously. 

"Painkillers, Alex? Where did you get prescription painkillers?" 

Alex shrugged. 

"They're good to have around," he said vaguely, sliding the bowl in front of Fox. Offered him the glass of water. 

Fox gulped the painkillers down with a few swallows of the cool liquid. Putting the glass on the nightstand, Fox scooped a few sunflower seeds into his mouth and crunched them meditatively. 

Alex stroked Fox's hair gently. 

"You OK, Fox? You want me to take your mind off it?" Alex ran a gentle hand over Fox's torso, hooked two fingers inside Fox's waistband. Licked his lips, his meaning clear. 

Fox watched Alex's face carefully, his preternatural curiosity eclipsing his pain. This was not the same man who had punished him. The coldness was gone, eclipsed by a sense of fellow feeling. 

"What happened after you were punished inside the Consortium, Alex?" Fox asked. "When you were growing up?" 

Alex shrugged. 

"We used to curl up together. Sometimes we'd touch each other. Some of the supervisors would beat us if they caught us, but most of them didn't give a fuck, as long as we were quiet. And let them have their turn." He laughed bitterly. "No reason not to let us practice on each other first, you know?" 

Fox closed his eyes. He felt worse with every word Alex spoke. Far from being a relief, like being caned by Walter, this felt all wrong. Dirty. Abusive. Forgiven was the furthest thing from what he felt. 

"Fox?" Alex watched Fox's face, trying to puzzle out what he wanted. He knew Fox was upset, but he hadn't a clue as to why. "Fox, do you want to fuck me? Want me to suck you? Fox?" 

Fox heard the unhappy desperation in Alex's voice. 

He drew Alex into his arms. Alex trembled. He knew he was failing Fox, knew Fox wanted something else from him, but he didn't know what. He forced himself to stay still. Tried not to cringe from Fox's hand. 

"Alex. When you caned me, who were you thinking of?" Fox asked. 

"The Englishman," Alex said hesitantly. "He's the one who usually caned me." 

"You didn't talk to me afterwards. You didn't hug me. You didn't care how I felt." 

"Talk to you? Hug you? Shit, Fox, he never fucking hugged me afterwards! I kissed the fucking cane and that was it. Who the fuck cared how I felt? Shit! Shit! Shit! I don't know what you want from me, Fox! You asked me to do this; I didn't want to!" Alex glared at Fox, thoroughly frustrated. 

"Fuck you, Fox! Fuck you!" 

Fox realized Alex was miserable and ready to bolt. Someone needed to take charge here. 

"It's not your fault, Alex," Fox said, pushing aside his own needs with tremendous effort. Years of practice at doing the right thing stood Fox in good stead. Years of comforting victims. Of professionalism. Despite all insinuations to the contrary, Spooky Mulder had been a good agent. Fox Mulder was a decent man. He knew how to work around his own essential selfishness. 

"Come on, Alex," Fox said gently. "We'll sort this out another time, OK? Let's get some food and go see Walter again. What do you want, bagels?" 

Alex sighed with relief. This casual banter was safe ground. He'd done this with the hoods he'd worked with. 

"Doughnuts, OK? I'm sick of bagels," Alex said. "I'll get my jacket. Want me to drive?" 

By tacit agreement, neither Alex nor Fox mentioned their disastrous experiment with discipline to Walter. Fox, far too sore to sit, paced the hallways and raided the linen cart for extra blankets and pillows for an uncomfortable Walter. Alex sat, still and silent, waiting for instructions. 

"Go down to the cafeteria, Fox, Alex," Walter said as it grew late. "Have some dinner. I'm fine." 

"Don't worry about me, Walter," Fox said. He wasn't hungry at all. 

"Alex, make Fox eat, please," Walter said. 

"Yes, sir," Alex answered. 

Sir. Walter sighed, but he was too weak and tired to remonstrate with Alex. 

"He's just stressed, Walter." Fox registered Walter's frown at Alex's automatic response. "It's all right, we'll get something for ourselves. Come on, Alex." 

Fox surveyed the cafeteria's offerings without interest. 

"Walter said eat," Alex said softly. "Come on, Fox, pick something you like. There's burgers and fries over there. You have to eat something, Fox." 

Fox had never seen Alex so subdued and deferential. 

"What? What?" Alex asked, not sure what Fox's expression meant. 

"What are you eating, Alex? Just dessert?" 

"Do you mind, Fox?" Alex asked softly, flushing. 

"Eat what you want, Alex," Fox said. "I'm just not hungry." 

"Walter said to make you eat. Choose something, Fox." Alex's voice was suddenly hard. 

Fox started. 

"You're serious, aren't you?" he asked Alex wonderingly. 

Alex stared back at him, not giving an inch. 

With a put upon sigh, Fox put a sandwich and coffee on the tray. Alex added a slab of pie and a second coffee. Fox pushed the tray along the rail to the register and paid the cashier, while Alex gathered a pile of sugar packets, napkins and utensils. 

They found a table near the windows. Fox noted the well-padded chairs with relief. 

Alex added packet after packet of sugar to his coffee. Fox poked his sandwich. 

"It's already dead, Fox." Alex echoed Walter's familiar joke. 

"Can your spoon stand up yet?" Fox hazarded another of Walter's witticisms. 

Both men grinned wryly at each other and began to eat. 

Walter was already asleep when they looked in at the end of visiting hours. 

"I could stay in case he wakes up," Alex offered tentatively. 

"We may as well go home, Alex. He won't need us until the morning." 

Fox sighed resignedly and headed towards the car. Although his butt still hurt, he could sit comfortably enough to drive home. 

The house was dark and felt cold. Silently, Alex trailed Fox to the bedroom. Dropping his clothes on the floor, Fox lay back on the bed. 

Alex picked up Fox's clothes, folded them on top of Fox's bureau. Hung his own clothes on the hook on his closet door. 

I'm being good, Walter. 

"Come to me, Alex," Fox coaxed, patting the bed beside him. 

Alex stretched out obediently. He kissed Fox teasingly, then rolled onto his stomach and spread his legs in clear invitation. 

Fox's cock went rigid against his stomach. Something in Alex's uncharacteristic submissiveness was a huge turn on. 

Fox lifted Alex's hips and encouraged him to bend his knees until he was half kneeling, with his upper torso on the mattress and his ass in the air. Coating his fore and index fingers with lube, Fox massaged Alex's anus, patiently softening the hard ring of muscle. Conscious of the fine white scars that bore witness to harsher, less happy penetrations. 

Alex bit his lip as Fox worked first one, then a second finger inside him. Bore down, widening himself. A satisfied Fox would surely behave for Walter. 

Fox slid his fingers from Alex's ass and slicking his cock with gel, positioned himself against the tempting opening. Reached forward to grasp Alex's cock. Froze. 

Alex was small and soft, his cock nestled close to his balls. Totally unaroused. 

"Shit!" Fox exclaimed, his own erection forgotten. He shoved Alex hard onto his side. "What the fuck is the matter with you?" 

"I'm sorry, Fox, I'm sorry." Alex stroked himself rhythmically, desperate for an erection. "I'm trying." 

"Ah shit," Fox muttered, realizing how Alex had understood his question. He put his hand over Alex's, stilling it. 

"That's not what I meant, Alex. It's OK you're not hard. But why the fuck didn't you stop me if it wasn't good for you?" 

"It doesn't matter," Alex said dully. He cringed as Fox's hand descended in a short, sharp arc towards his face. 

Fox smacked the pillow just inches from Alex's head. 

"Damn you, Alex, you're not my whore. If you don't want to fuck, tell me! Shit! Sometimes I almost hate you." Fox was shaken and upset. He had come so close, first to using Alex for his own gratification, then to slapping Alex. Walter would kill him. 

Alex sniffled. 

The slight sound caught Fox unaware. Gently, he cupped Alex's face in his palm. Traced the glittering green eyes. 

"You're crying, " Fox said wonderingly. 

"You hate me," Alex answered. 

"No, Alex," Fox sighed. "Come here." Lying back, Fox drew Alex's head onto his chest, unconsciously mimicking the way Walter always held Alex. Alex let himself be positioned as Fox wanted. Fox stroked Alex's hair gently. 

"Alex. I've got you. Just rest now. Shh..." 

Fox watched Alex's eyes close as he continued to stroke his hair and murmur quietly. Alex's breathing evened out and eventually, he slept. 

For the first time, Fox understood the depth of protectiveness Walter felt for their damaged lover. Alex's neediness was overwhelming. He had never been nurtured. He had never been loved. He had no good memories to build on. 

Fox's family had been morbidly dysfunctional, but compared to Alex's youth, his own seemed suddenly a model of health. 

Morning found Alex's head still pillowed on Fox's chest, Fox's arm curved protectively around Alex's shoulders. Their legs entwined. Their cocks hard. 

Fox ran his palm gently over the stubble on Alex's jaw. Traced the mouth still slack with sleep, the small, fine nose. Studied his lover through smiling hazel eyes. 

"Like what you see, Fox?" Alex licked his lips enticingly. Drew circles around Fox's sensitive nipple with one sharp fingernail. Darted his tongue over the wrinkled nub, blew teasingly at the slight wetness. 

Fox's hips bucked involuntarily. He tilted Alex's face upwards and kissed him firmly, widening Alex's mouth with his tongue. Ran his hand down Alex's white neck, across his taut chest. Rolled Alex's nipple between his thumb and middle finger, savoring Alex's groan. 

"I'm ready, Fox," Alex said, his voice hoarse with need. "Fuck me." He slid from under Fox's arm, sprawled on his back. Caressed his rigid cock with his good hand, displaying himself. He drew his knees up, tensed and tilted his ass upwards. 

Fox stroked Alex's tight buttocks with a deep sigh. Reaching for the lube, he coated his finger carefully. Spreading Alex 's cheeks with his other hand, he probed the small opening gently with his slick finger. Pressed the long, slender digit inward. 

"Oh yeah," Alex sighed, stroking his cock in a slow, deliberate rhythm. "God that's good, Fox. More. Please, I need more." 

Fox withdrew his finger slightly, crossed a second finger in front of it. Added more lube, and pressed both fingers into the tight channel. Keeping his eyes fixed on Alex's face, alert to any sign of distress, Fox hooked his fingers slightly and slid them firmly over Alex's prostate. 

"Oh god oh god oh god," Alex panted. "Fuck me, Fox, fuck me. I need you so bad." He worked his hard cock with his hand. 

Fox could feel Alex relaxing and softening around his fingers. He pulled them out slowly. Added still more lube to his hand and slicked his rigid cock. Took Alex's legs over his shoulder. Held his cock to Alex's softened opening and pressed slowly, steadily inwards. Felt Alex widen to accommodate him. 

Alex's head was thrown back, his face rigid, his breath coming in hard gasps. His hand flew over his cock. 

"Oh god Fox. So good. Oh yeah." Every muscle in Alex's body tensed as his cock spurted over flesh and sheets. 

Fox gave one final, deep thrust and came deep inside Alex. 

Silence, except for the chatter of birds outside and the harsh breathing of two satisfied men. 

"I love you, Alex," Fox whispered breathlessly. 

"Umm." Alex draped himself across Fox in a luxuriant, satisfied sprawl. "Yeah." 

It was the last peaceful moment of their day. 

Walter called from the hospital. 

"Bring me my clothes when you come today, Fox," he instructed. "I'm ready to get out of here." 

Walter was feeling better, and Walter was bored. Frustrated with the hospital routine, the endless drawing of blood, the ritual taking of temperature, the noise and smells and petty inconveniences common to any medical institution. 

"I want to go home," Walter said, as Fox and Alex entered his room. 

Fox looked doubtful. 

"Let's wait and see what the doctor says, Walter," he said reasonably. 

"I want to go home!" 

Alex started at Walter's demand. 

"I'll get the doctor," Alex said placatingly. "Just take it easy, Walter. I'll get a nurse to page him." 

He slipped hurriedly from the room. 

"Jump, Alex; how high, Walter?" Fox muttered under his breath. 

"I'm not that bad, Fox," Walter laughed. "Am I?" 

"Yes," said Fox. He meant it. 

"No, sir," said Alex, who had just reentered the room. 

"I haven't seen a newspaper in three days," Walter groused. 

"I'll get one," Alex said softly. "They have them down the hall." He vanished quickly. 

"He's not your servant." Fox glared at Walter. 

Alex returned, newspaper in hand. Offered it tentatively to Walter. 

Two pairs of eyes studied Alex's tight face carefully. Alex froze. 

"Did I do something wrong, sir?" Alex asked nervously, retreating towards Fox. 

"No, Alex, you're fine," Fox reassured him, frowning at Walter. He patted Alex's back gently. 

"I'm sorry, Alex," Walter said gently. "I didn't mean to be so high-handed. Easy, everything's OK." 

Alex looked from Walter to Fox, thoroughly bewildered. 

"Can I talk to you, Fox?" he asked softly. 

"Go on," Walter said. "I'm fine." 

"What do you want to talk about, Alex?" Fox asked gently, as they commandeered their favorite cafeteria table. He shoved one coffee cup and a pile of sugar packets in front of Alex. 

"Walter didn't do anything wrong," Alex said confusedly. "Shit. When Spender was sick, he was a real bastard. " 

"You've got more patience than I do, Alex," Fox sighed. 

"I just have more practice keeping my head down," Alex said softly, stirring still more sugar into his coffee. "That's why I'm alive." 

Fox recognized that Alex was telling the truth. 

"You're safe now, Alex." Fox put his hand gently over Alex's. 

"Thank you, Fox." Alex was quiet for a moment, then spoke again. "I never imagined it could be like this. You and me, friends." 

"I know," Fox said. "It's good." 

Meanwhile, Walter had been evaluated and found ready for discharge. He was dressed by the time Alex and Fox returned to his room, smiling at his coup like the cat that swallowed the canary. 

Even the short drive from hospital to house was more tiring than Walter had anticipated. 

"It's too soon for you to be home, Walter," Fox said critically, watching Walter's face whiten with the stress of the short walk from car to door. 

"I'm fine, Fox." Walter tried unsuccessfully to catch his breath. Goddamnit he was weak. "Just help me get back to bed, OK?" 

Alex lurked in the background, wanting to help, but not wanting to interfere. 

"Put up a pot of coffee, Alex," Walter said wearily. 

Grateful for a task, Alex slipped into the kitchen. 

Fox helped Walter undress. Walter lay back gratefully. It was good to be home. He kissed Fox deeply, gently. Fox slipped off his outer clothing and joining Walter in their bed, pressed his body against him in a full, loving hug. 

Both men sighed with pleasure at the contact. For a few minutes, there was only the quiet whisper of touches, kisses, the reestablishment of comfort and connection. 

Alex made a small sound from the doorway, not sure of his welcome. 

"Alex, cuddle with us," Fox said quietly. "Come on now." 

Tentatively, Alex stripped and crept onto Fox's side of the bed. Walter looked at him curiously. 

"Not my pal anymore, Alex?" he asked in a gently teasing voice. Usually Alex liked the spot closest to him. 

Alex froze, guilt-ridden and fearful. How could Walter make jokes? Alex had almost killed him! 

Fox was the first to notice. 

"Alex, breathe," he said softly. "Walter, it's too much for him. He can't process this much emotion." 

"Always Alex," Walter sighed. "All right. Come here, Alex. Shh, what's the matter?" Walter tried to focus his attention on his lover's shame and fear. Tried not to think of the blinding pain, the sensation of falling, he had experienced last time they shared this bed. 

Alex reacted viscerally to the tension. Gagging, he catapulted out of the bed and into the bathroom. Retched violently, miserably, bracing himself with one hand on the toilet tank. 

Fox stood helplessly behind him. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Alex gasped, over and over. 

Fox wet a washcloth and wringing it dry, handed it to Alex. 

"How are you going to punish me?" Alex whispered. "How are you going to hurt me?" 

"We're not going to hurt you, Alex," Fox said quietly. "I don't think Walter's going to punish you at all. It was an accident, Alex. It could just as easily have been me he was fucking when he had the heart attack." 

Alex rocked unsteadily. Fox caught Alex's arm as he slumped and manhandled him into their bed. 

"What's wrong with him, Fox?" Walter asked tiredly. He felt awful. 

"What happened with you happened before. Alex got carved up as punishment." 

"Shit," Walter said bitterly. 

"Shit," Fox agreed. He shrugged helplessly. 

"There's no end to it, Fox, is there? The things they did to him..." 

"I know. Walter, would you feel well enough to spank him? " Fox asked softly. "He needs you to punish him." 

"Goddamnit, no. He did nothing wrong, Fox. I don't want to punish him and I'm not going to do it," Walter said, stubbornly. "I've had it up to here with what he needs. It can't always be about him. I'm not going to spank him! " 

Alex listened silently, his green eyes dull with despair. Walter hated him: Alex was sure of it now. He moaned almost inaudibly. 

Walter caught the slight sound. 

"Alex, I'm not angry with you. I'm just frustrated. There's no need for a spanking, Alex. What happened was not your fault. It was an accident." 

"I knew you were tired, Walter," Alex said dully. "I just wanted to be close to you. You fucked Fox and I felt so left out. I didn't mean to hurt you, Walter." 

"It was just as much my fault," said Fox. "You were tired when you got to bed, Walter. I made you fuck me, too." 

"It's neither of your faults," Walter sighed. "I chose this relationship as much as you did. You have the right to ask to make love. I'm the only one who knew how tired I was. I'm the one who should have refused." 

"You always take care of me," Alex said softly. "I'm a selfish bastard. I'm sorry, Walter. " 

"Me too. I love you, Walter," Fox snuggled close. 

Walter rubbed Alex's hipbone gently, noting the yellowing bruise. Something had happened in his absence that neither Fox nor Alex had volunteered. 

"Please, Walter. Punish me. Hurt me." Alex was begging. "Keep me." 

"I won't hurt you, Alex. I will never hurt you. You're mine forever." 

"Please, Walter, I'm fucking begging here. I need you to punish me. I need you to spank me," Alex said. "I need you to show me I'm yours." 

Walter hesitated a moment, then came to a decision. Alex's desperation revealed just how much Alex needed proof that he was Walter's. That he was safe. That he was loved. 

"You are mine, Alex. I won't spank you, I won't hurt you, but I will show you. Do you trust me? " 

"Yes, Walter, " Alex whispered. "I trust you." 

Walter propped himself upright on the pillows and patted his lap. Alex obediently arranged himself face down across his thighs. Walter positioned Alex's legs towards his shoulders, and Alex's head near his knees. Stroked his hand down Alex's back, from nape of neck to base of spine. 

Walter felt Alex tremble as he gently kneaded, then spread, his taut buttocks. Coating his finger generously with lube, Walter massaged Alex's tight anus. Coaxed first one finger, then a second, into the tight channel. 

"Good, Alex. Relax. Trust me," Walter crooned. 

The third finger was all right. The fourth made Alex moan and Walter massaged the small of his back. 

"Open for me, Alex. Let my hand inside you." Walter tucked his thumb into his palm and coated his hand and wrist liberally with gel. "It doesn't need to hurt. Trust me." 

Alex tensed, holding his breath. He stayed very, very still. 

"Breathe, Alex. It can be very good, " Walter said softly. "Open for me, Alex. Trust me. Breathe." 

"Yes," Alex exhaled, sighing. "Yes." He wanted to do this for Walter. 

Fox licked his lips reflexively as Walter's hand opened Alex's ass, his own cock hardening at the sight. He stroked himself rhythmically. 

Walter moved his hand deep inside Alex. He felt Alex's cock stiffen against his thigh. Felt Alex's muscles tighten, then relax, as his knuckles pressed through the widened sphincter. As Alex accepted his hand fully. 

Walter's fingers curled back easily into a loose fist. He flexed his muscles, worked his hand gently back and forth in the tight channel. 

"I love you, Walter." Alex's voice was hazy with love and endorphins. "I'm being good, right? I'm all yours, right?" 

"I love you, Alex. You're very good. You're all mine." Walter rotated his hand, pressing firmly on the most sensitive knot of nerve endings inside and Alex came hard, shuddering at the release. Walter used his final contractions to ease his hand out. 

On the other side of Alex, Fox moaned as his cum spilled over his fist and belly. 

Alex floated, soft and spent, between Walter and Fox. 

"Was that what you needed, Alex?" Walter asked gently. 

"Oh yeah," Alex breathed. He was silent for a long time. 

"They hurt me, Walter. They held me down and they cut me inside. I screamed and screamed and nobody cared." 

"Did I hurt you, Alex? " 

Alex shook his head. No. 

"I won't ever hurt you, Alex." 

"But I hurt you, Walter," Alex whispered sadly. 

"No, Alex. You didn't hurt me. What happened was an accident." 

"Please keep me?" Alex asked in a whisper. "I'll be good for you." 

Walter stroked Alex's hair gently back from his face. 

"You are good, Alex," Walter said. "I've got you. You're mine." 

Rolling closer, a satisfied Fox traced Alex's features with a gentle finger. 

"You're very good, Alex," Fox said. "We've got you. You're ours." 

"My Fox." Walter's voice was warm and approving. "You took good care of Alex. I am very proud of you." 

"You shouldn't be. I hurt Alex," Fox confessed unhappily. 

"What do you mean?" Walter looked at him, puzzled. 

"Alex asked me to spank him. To whip him. I bent him over the dining room table. He got scared and pulled away and my belt caught him across the hipbone by mistake. It was my fault for agreeing in the first place. I hurt him. " Fox sounded miserable. 

"So I asked Alex to punish me. I asked him to cane me." 

"Fox said I didn't do it right. That I was supposed to hug him afterwards. Talk to him. How the fuck was I supposed to know that?" Alex sounded equally miserable. 

"You cannot physically punish each other. It simply won't work," Walter sighed. "This is not something that is right for your relationship." 

"You're the only one who can spank me," Alex said softly. "Not Fox." 

"That's right, Alex. And you cannot discipline Fox even if he asks you to. Neither of you has the authority to discipline the other," Walter reiterated. 

"But what if something happens to you?" Fox held his breath, awaiting Walter's reply. 

"Nothing's going to happen to me," Walter said reassuringly, recognizing Fox's ever-present terror of abandonment. "There is nothing for you to worry about. I got excellent medical care, I'm going to be fine. You're not going to lose me. " Walter tucked Fox closer. 

"Alex hurt me," Fox said petulantly. 

"Fuck you, Fox," Alex snapped back, stung. "You hurt me, too!" 

Walter took a deep breath. He understood exactly what was happening. Fox wanted to be relieved of his responsibility for Alex. Fox wanted Walter to care for both of them. 

Walter knew he was too exhausted to manage either Fox or Alex. Just three days ago he had had a heart attack. Just three hours ago he had been released from the hospital. He needed to care for himself first, or he would be in no shape to care for anyone else. 

"Fox, Alex, that's enough! You are not allowed to hurt each other. I am disappointed that you did and when I feel strong enough I am going to punish both of you. But for now, I am sick and I need to rest. And you are both going to respect that. " 

"I'm sorry, Walter," Fox said. "I didn't mean to push you." 

"You're both needy," Walter said hoarsely, closing his eyes. "Behave like the men you are and deal with it yourselves. I need to sleep." 

"You selfish assholes! I hate you both." Alex stormed out of the bedroom. 

Fox caught up with Alex at the door. Alex was struggling into his jacket. Fox yanked the jacket out of Alex's hand and threw it across the room. 

Ignoring Alex's protests, Fox manhandled Alex onto the couch and hugged him close. Rubbed his back in firm, certain circles. 

Alex crumpled against Fox's chest, his shoulders shaking. 

"It's too hard!" Alex sobbed. "It's too hard!" 

"Alex, I want to understand," Fox said softly, trying to slow his own breathing. One of them had to stay calm or they were both lost. "What's too hard, Alex?" 

"Being here! You told Walter that I hurt you and now he's going to spank me and it's all your fault!" 

Fox sighed. He hadn't meant for Alex to feel betrayed this way. 

"You know Walter always goes easy on you," Fox reminded Alex, trying to soothe him. 

"It isn't easy for me," Alex sobbed. "Fox, don't let him spank me." 

"I'll talk to Walter," Fox promised. 

"You told me to cane you! It wasn't my idea! I didn't want to do it!" Alex curled into himself. He bit his tongue sharply; dug his nails deep into his palm. Used the tricks he had practiced over many hard years to seek the frozen place where nothing hurt. 

Fox jostled Alex gently, recognizing what Alex was attempting. 

"Stay with me, Alex," he remonstrated. "Don't hide. I need you." 

"You...need me?" Alex regarded Fox with red eyes, struggling to make sense of his extraordinary words. "Why?" 

"I love you, Alex," Fox said simply. 

Absolute silence. Wordlessly, Alex laid his head in Fox's lap. 

Fox stroked Alex's hair meditatively. Walter's abrupt, exhausted dismissal had left Alex reeling. 

Fox sighed. He had been looking forward to relinquishing the responsibility for Alex to Walter. And while he was not looking forward to being punished himself, he was looking forward to the relief from guilt punishment at Walter's hands always gave him. 

It was clear Walter was not ready to pick up his burden. 

Fox shifted Alex onto the couch. 

"I'll be back, Alex. Just rest." Fox entered their bedroom quietly. Maybe Walter was well enough to at least talk through the problem with him. 

"Fox, did I hear Alex crying?" Walter asked softly. 

"He doesn't feel responsible for hurting me. He doesn't want to be punished." 

"And I don't want to punish him. That's part of the problem," Walter said. "I haven't had the heart to hold him responsible for enough of his choices, and consequently, he doesn't take responsibility for them either. " 

"Maybe he can't, Walter," Fox said. "I know I've always complained you were favoring him, but after caring for him these last few days, I feel differently. He really doesn't understand." Fox said unhappily. 

"Help me learn," Alex begged from the doorway. 

Walter realized abruptly that he didn't have the option of withdrawing. Fox and Alex had willingly exchanged a great deal of autonomy for his support and guidance. He could not abandon them to their own devices while he had any choice whatsoever. 

"Bed, Fox, Alex. Now." 

Alex shrugged out of his shirt and shoved off his jeans and underwear. He shook them out and draped them neatly over his bureau. Crawled into bed alongside Walter. 

Fox dropped his clothes where he stood and flopped happily on Walter's other side. 

Walter ran his fingertips tentatively over the ugly bruise on Alex's hip. 

"Does this hurt?" he asked. 

"It was my own fucking fault. I told Fox to strap me." 

"So you don't want me to punish Fox for doing this?" 

"Of course not," Alex said. "Fox took good care of me. I wouldn't get him in trouble." 

Aha, thought Walter, now we're getting somewhere. 

"And you're upset because Fox got you in trouble?" Walter asked. 

"You don't tell Them," Alex whispered. 

"Alex, am I really like Them?" Walter held his breath. 

Alex mulled the question over for several long minutes, then shook his head no. 

"I still don't want you to spank me." Alex's voice was tight with nerves. 

"I won't feel up to any spanking for a few days," Walter said, rubbing Alex's back reassuringly. "It's going to be all right, Alex. I will punish you. I won't hurt you." 

Alex let Walter spoon him close. 

"I didn't mean to hurt Fox! He told me to cane him! He said he didn't want a safe word!" 

"You don't feel any guilt at all, Alex?" Walter asked gently. "Look at his ass." He turned Alex's head gently in Fox's direction. 

"Fuck it, Walter," Alex said, his face blank, his tone flat. "It wasn't my idea. I did what Fox told me to." 

"You don't think you overdid it, Alex?" 

Alex regarded Fox's striped buttocks expressionlessly. 

"I don't get it, Walter. Why are you going to spank me for hurting Fox, when you wouldn't spank me for hurting you?" 

"Alex, did you mean to hurt me?" 

"No." Alex shook his head. "But I didn't mean to hurt Fox either." 

"Are you sure?" Walter asked. 

Alex was quiet. When he finally spoke, he sounded puzzled. 

"I was angry at Fox," Alex said wonderingly. "He hurt me." 

"I shouldn't have hit you. I was angry," Fox said. "You were spinning out. I was wrong to think I could punish you. I'm sorry, Alex." He touched Alex's cheek gently. 

"It's OK, Fox," Alex said, turning into Fox's hand. 

"The moment I saw you on the floor, I knew I had made a mistake. I can't punish you, Alex. I can't punish anyone. I don't want the responsibility," Fox said miserably. 

"Caning you scared me, Fox. You made me do it, and I was angry that you made me." Alex swallowed hard and continued. 

"Some of them liked to watch us hurt each other. I hated it. I did it because I was scared. Anything, not to get another beating. We were all scared. All the time. " 

"I didn't know, Alex," Fox said softly. "I'm so sorry." 

"I hurt you. I deserve to be punished," Alex said dully. 

"Neither of you used particularly good judgment," Walter said. "I am disappointed in both of you and once I feel better, I am going to spank you. But for now, you are going to be quiet and let me hold you. I missed you when I was in the hospital. I'm tired, I'm sick, and I want some cuddling." 

Walter held his breath, hoping his firm tone would provide the reassurance both men so desperately sought. 

With a sigh of utter relief, Alex buried his head in Walter's dark fur. 

"I'll be good, Walter," he promised. 

Fox rolled into the crook of Walter's arm and let himself be drawn close. 

"I love you, Walter. Thank you." Fox's eyes were soft with understanding and appreciation. "You take good care of us." 

The three men woke in a tangled heap of arms and legs. Fox ran his hand appreciatively over Walter's hard cock. 

"I've missed this," Fox said softly. 

"I'm not up to playing," Walter laughed, batting Fox's hand away 

"Oh, you look plenty up to me." Fox waggled his eyebrows. 

Alex looked from Fox to Walter anxiously. 

"Want me to do something for you, Fox?" he offered diffidently. 

"I'm not going to molest Walter," Fox said, nettled by the undercurrent of anxiety in Alex's voice. "We're just kidding around. You don't have to distract me by servicing me." 

Walter sighed. They had barely awakened and already a quarrel was brewing. A little structure was in order. 

"This morning, Fox, you are going to write lines. You too, Alex." 

"Shit, Walter," Fox said resignedly. 

"Yes, sir," Alex said softly. 

Walter winced. "Sir" from Alex was a worrisome indicator of Alex's stress level. 

"Everything's all right, Alex. Trust me." Walter tousled Alex's hair reassuringly. 

After a light breakfast, Walter set Fox and Alex their respective lines. 

"I am only responsible for my own behavior." Fox studied the brief sentence mutinously. 

"Walter, this makes no sense. You told me to take care of Alex," Fox argued. "This is stupid." 

"Is it?" Walter asked equitably. "Indulge me, Fox. Write it two hundred times and see if you don't understand it better. Sulk all you want, Fox; I'm not changing my mind." 

Walter was back in charge. Fox sighed with relief. 

"I will tell Fox and Walter when I am scared." Oh, shit. Alex willed his face to remain still. 

"Two hundred times please, Alex. Write neatly and don't rush. Take a break if your hand starts to hurt. There's no hurry. I want you to really think about what you're writing." 

Walter lay back against his pillow and closed his eyes. He needed to rest. 

Fox and Alex sat, pens in hand, at the dining room table. 

"I hate lines," Fox said for what seemed the hundredth time. 

Alex shrugged noncommittally. Lines were a novelty to Alex. He found their boredom infinitely preferable to the Consortium's more painful punishments. 

Alex was far more worried about what lay ahead. 

"When do you think he'll spank us, Fox?" 

"I think we're safe for today; he's still weak. But soon enough," Fox said glumly. 

Alex sighed resignedly and forced his attention back to his paper. 

I will tell Fox and Walter when I am scared. 

Fuck it. Fox was right; writing lines sucked. 

Alex slid out of his chair and under the table. Kneeling in front of Fox, he rubbed his cheek against Fox's well-worn chinos. Insinuated his hand between Fox's legs. 

Fox grinned. This was a lot more interesting than writing lines. He leaned back in his chair and undid his fly. 

Alex pressed his lips against Fox's thin cotton boxers, felt Fox's cock stiffen at the contact. Caught the waistband in his teeth and carefully pulled it over Fox's cock. Ran his tongue along the bulging blue vein on the underside of Fox's cock, around the base of the head. Felt his own cock jerk as Fox quivered under his mouth. 

"Wait," Fox said, tangling his fingers in Alex's hair and tugging hard. 

Alex tilted his head back, licking his lips, his eyes dark with need. Fox slipped his hand under Alex's good elbow and got to his feet, bringing Alex with him. 

"I want to lie down, Alex," he said gently. "I want to make it good for you, too. Come on, Alex, let's go to bed." 

Fox led Alex into the spare bedroom that had been Alex's room when he had first joined their household, and was now once again a catch all for the detritus of everyday life. He cleared the bed with a grand gesture. 

Alex winced as books, papers, CDs and out of season clothing hit the floor. 

"Shh," Fox said softly, his movements slowing as he pushed down his already open jeans and boxers. He shrugged out of his shirt, let it fall to the floor. Lifting Alex's arm, Fox tugged his tee shirt over his head and added it to the piled clothing. 

"Lie down, Alex." Fox pushed Alex onto his back and sprawled full length on top of him, pinning Alex down. Ground his hips into Alex's. Felt the hard length of Alex's cock meet his own. 

"Oh yeah," Alex moaned, arching to meet Fox. "Please..." 

Fox sat back on his knees, his naked thighs straddling Alex's denim-clad thighs. Popping the button on Alex's jeans, he unzipped them carefully. Eased them over Alex's narrow hips, taking Alex's boxers with them. 

Alex lifted his hips helpfully and impatiently kicked his legs free. 

"Do it," he said. "Yes yes yes yes..." He tilted his head back, exposing his throat. 

Fox licked and sucked his way along Alex's jaw with its faint trace of black stubble. Tongued his blushing nipples into tight red nubs. Used his legs to widen Alex's and sitting back on his heels, slid his palms under Alex's thighs and pushed them to Alex's chest. 

"Stay like that, Alex," Fox ordered. He stretched across to the bedside table; scrabbled in the drawer for the lube he knew was there. Coating his finger, he massaged Alex's anus gently, waiting for it to wink open before sliding his finger inside. 

"Fuck me fuck me fuck me," Alex moaned, his head dropping even further back. 

Fox drew his finger out of Alex's hot ass and spread a generous coat of gel over his jutting cock. Placed the already moist head over Alex's anus and with a firm, certain stroke slid slowly home. Flattened his torso against Alex, used his hips to fuck Alex in a hard, steady rhythm. 

Alex moaned incoherently, thrusting his own cock between their tight pressed abdomens. He arched deliberately upward, seeking the friction he needed to come. 

Wordlessly, Fox pressed harder and deeper. Good, oh shit, it was good. He felt Alex's hot cum against his belly, felt his own cum spurt deep inside Alex. 

"So good," Alex panted. "Shit Fox, that was so good." 

Fox rolled onto his back, his breath coming in hard gasps. 

"Mmm. Good. Love you, Alex." Fox grinned broadly. "Wow." 

Alex rolled onto his side, rubbed his face against Fox's smooth chest. 

"I make you happy," Alex said. It wasn't a question. 

"Oh yeah, Alex." 

"Don't let Walter spank me, Fox. Please." Alex's eyes were closed, his face slack with the release of tension. 

Fox hesitated, his profiler's instinct kicking in hard. Something had happened here, some exchange he didn't quite understand, but which left him suddenly uneasy. He looked at Alex again, trying to puzzle out what his lover was thinking. 

Fox fucked me. I belong to Fox. Fox will keep me safe. 

Shit. Fox could read Alex's chain of thought as easily as if it were tattooed on his forehead. 

I don't know how to help you, Alex, Fox thought to himself. I can't do this alone. 

"I'll talk to Walter, Alex, " Fox said aloud. 

The day passed in a blur of chores. As Fox and Alex finished up the last of the pizza Fox had ordered for dinner, Alex sighed resignedly. 

"We should finish our lines, Fox," Alex said. "Walter said two hundred and I've got at least fifty left." He fanned his meticulously written papers out on the table. 

Fox shook his head. Alex's ricocheting between obsequious compliance and covert defiance made Fox dizzy. 

"My lines are done." They looked like chicken scratches, but Fox couldn't have cared less. "I'm going to talk with Walter a bit before bed. Will you be OK out here?" Fox asked. 

"Sure, Fox," Alex said blandly, looking puzzled. "Why wouldn't I be?" 

Fox fought the urge to tell Alex just how maddening his behavior was. He managed to contain his irritation and dropped a gentle kiss on Alex's hair in passing. Fox then proceeded into the bedroom and poured out the story of the whole frustrating day to Walter. 

"I can't do this, Walter. One minute he's protecting you from me, the next minute he wants me to protect him from you. I have no idea how to handle this." 

"You're right, Fox," Walter said. "It's not your responsibility to mediate between Alex and me. Obviously your lines sank in." 

"What should I do, Walter?" Fox said. "He's shit scared." 

"Let me handle Alex. I would never hurt Alex, Fox. I would never hurt you. You know that, Fox," Walter said reassuringly. "I am going to spank both of you, but I am not going to hurt either of you. " 

"Thank you, Walter," Fox said gratefully. He sank onto the bed next to Walter and lowered his head on Walter's chest. "I love you." 

Walter stroked Fox's brown hair tenderly. 

"I love you, my Fox. I'll take care of you. It really is going to be all right." 

His lines finished, Alex stacked his papers neatly, with modest pride. Walter would be pleased with him. 

Alex was taken aback to find Walter and Fox had fallen fast asleep. Fuck them! They hadn't even called for him to join them, the selfish bastards. A quick, anxious sniff of the air assured him they had not made love. 

That at least meant Walter was safe. 

Alex shivered, confused by the mix of emotions washing over him. Feeling angry and afraid, left out and rejected, Alex huddled at the edge of their bed. There was no one awake to protest as he jerked off quietly and efficiently, a skill born of years of practice. Facing away from Fox and Walter, Alex closed his eyes, ignoring the moisture on his lashes. 

I am not crying, he reminded himself. He willed sleep to take him. 

The morning sun found Walter awake, Fox pressed tightly against him. 

"Good morning, Fox," Walter said, kissing him soundly. 

"Mmph," Fox said sleepily. "Not awake yet." He snuggled deeper under the covers. 

Alex lay an arm's length away, just out of reach. 

"Good morning, Alex. Come here," Walter held out a hand in invitation. "God, it's good to wake up in my own bed again." 

Ignoring Walter's gesture, Alex swung himself upright; stepped swiftly into his boxers and jeans. 

"I'll start coffee." Alex stalked out of the room. 

"Good morning to you too," Fox grumbled into his pillow. "Let me see what's wrong with our Alex." 

Alex sat wrong way around on a wooden kitchen chair, his good arm draped over the back, his teeth worrying his hand. Careful to make sure Alex was aware of his presence, Fox ruffled Alex's hair. 

"Turn around and sit nicely and I'll make you some eggs," Fox said gently. 

Alex leaned his head into Fox's hip. 

"How do you think Walter feels today?" Alex asked. 

"Better." 

"That's good. I guess," Alex said ambivalently. "How much better?" 

"You really don't want to be spanked," Fox said softly. "Alex, relax. Walter won't hurt you." 

"Yeah, right." Alex reached his arm around Fox's neck and tugging his head down, kissed him hard. 

Fox was surprised. Alex was seldom this demonstrative. 

"Tell him not to spank me, Fox," Alex said. 

"It's not up to me, Alex," Fox said, straightening up. "It's between you and Walter." 

"Fuck you too," Alex said, in the lightning shift of mood Fox knew all too well. 

"Alex, I'm not trying to brush you off," Fox said carefully. "But you should know that nothing I say is going to change Walter's decision." 

"'M'sorry, Fox, please don't you be mad at me too," Alex said plaintively. "I'm scared, Fox!" 

Fox put his arms around Alex and hugged him close. 

"Good morning," said Walter, stepping into the kitchen. "Man, I feel great! Do I smell coffee? Fox, are you making eggs?" He took a stack of dishes out of the dishwasher and started to set the table. "I'm starved. Alex, get the orange juice, please." 

Alex and Fox exchanged glances. Walter was back. 

Walter's attempts at cheerful conversation fell on barren ground. Both Fox and Alex were far too nervous to chat, much less eat well. Walter saw no point in putting off the inevitable. 

"I believe we have something we need to take care of. Fox, meet me in my office. Alex, I want you to wait for me in the bedroom." Standing up, Walter smoothed Alex's hair gently back from his murky green eyes. "It's going to be all right, Alex. I promise." 

Alex gulped. How did Walter know what he was thinking? Hastily, he fled the kitchen. 

Slowly and deliberately, Walter made his way to his office. Fox was sprawled on the couch. Walter seated himself alongside him. 

"Fox, how would you feel about my using my belt to punish you today?" Walter watched Fox carefully, gauging his reaction. He had only strapped Fox once before. 

Fox trembled. He couldn't help it. His father had used his belt mercilessly. 

"Never mind then, Fox," Walter said softly. "I understand. You can't do it. My belt scares you too much. Maybe now you can understand just how much being disciplined scares Alex." 

"I get it. I'm sorry," Fox whispered, hugging Walter hard. 

Gently Walter unwrapped Fox's arms. 

"Stand up and take down your pants and underwear, Fox," Walter said quietly. 

Fox obeyed wordlessly. 

Walter studied his striped buttocks for a long moment. 

"My poor Fox. I won't cane you when you're still this badly bruised. I am going to spank you over my knee instead." Walter drew Fox facedown across his lap, tucking Fox's legs out of the way under his own leg. 

Fox hid his face in his forearms and squirmed mutinously. This was no good. Only real pain would absolve him of the guilt he felt. How painful could a hand spanking be? 

"Don't move!" Walter swatted the crest of Fox's buttocks with a resounding thwack. 

"Holy shit!" Fox yelped. He lay still. 

"What is this spanking for, Fox? 

"I hurt Alex and I'm not allowed to hurt him. Only you have the right and the responsibility to punish him." 

"Very good, Fox." 

With a series of sharp swats, Walter quickly and mercilessly turned Fox's ass a dusky pink. 

"You do not hit Alex! Never! He is responsible for his own behavior, you are responsible for yours." Walter spanked Fox soundly, one hard smack following the next. 

Fox cried without pleading for Walter to stop. The resonant impact of Walter's curved palm against his ass was altogether different than the bite of the cane. 

"Ow! Ow!! Ow!!!" Fox yelped. "It hurts it hurts it hurts!" How the fuck could Walter's hand generate that kind of heat? 

"Had enough, Fox?" Walter rested his sore hand lightly on Fox's flaming ass. Fox was crying hard. 

Walter eased Fox carefully into his lap. Fox clung to Walter, his breath coming in smothered gasps. 

"Jesus, Walter, you spank too damn hard." Fox sniffled. "It hurts." 

"It's punishment, Fox. It's supposed to hurt." Walter said matter of factly. "You made a mistake and you were punished and I forgive you." 

Forgiven. How Fox loved that word. No one before Walter had ever forgiven him anything. 

Fox still couldn't believe just how much Walter's spanking had hurt. It was a far cry from the "love taps" Fox had imagined Alex receiving. 

"Please don't spank Alex, Walter," Fox whispered. 

Walter followed Fox's quicksilver train of thought. 

"I'm responsible for Alex; you're not," Walter reminded Fox softly. "I'm not going to hurt him." 

"But he's scared, Walter. Do you really have to spank him?" 

"I think I do. Forcing Alex to trust me is the only way to make Alex understand that he can trust me." 

"I love you, Walter." Fox kissed Walter, hard. "I'm going to get some air, OK? I won't go far." 

"Do you want company, Fox?" Walter asked, as he always did. 

"I need a little space, Walter. I appreciate you asking." The ritual was almost as old as their relationship. It never ceased to soothe Fox. Wincing as his boxers and jeans grazed his ass, Fox dressed and with a final kiss for Walter, headed outside. 

Alex sat shivering in their bedroom. He had already been to the bathroom. Moved his bowels, emptied his bladder. Walter had ruled that he was not to make himself throw up before being spanked. 

Alex gagged involuntarily. Shit. This was no good. 

Alex barely made it to the bathroom before his breakfast made its way up and out. 

He heard footsteps in the hall and slammed the lock button down. 

Alex gagged, retched again. 

"Unlock this door, Alex," Walter said quietly. He heard the soft sound of the doorknob turning. "Good. I'm going to come in now." 

Wordlessly, Walter went to Alex's side, supporting him as he heaved over the toilet. 

"Not on purpose," Alex gasped. "Not throwing up on purpose. I--" He vomited again, bringing up only bile. Struggled to catch his breath. 

"Shh, it's all right, shh," Walter soothed, rubbing gentle, reassuring circles on Alex's back. "Let it out, it's all right now, I got you. I'm not angry, Alex, don't be frightened. It's going to be OK. Shh..." Easing Alex upright, Walter closed the toilet and seated Alex. Flushed. Filled the glass by the sink with lukewarm water. 

"Rinse your mouth out. That's it," Walter coaxed. 

Leaning over, Alex spit the water into the sink. 

Walter rung out a washcloth and wiped the last traces of vomit from Alex's face. 

"Better now?" Walter asked softly. 

Alex nodded, his eyes cast down. 

"Come on now, Alex. In my office." Walter caught Alex's good arm under the elbow and escorted Alex down the hall. 

"Do you understand why I'm going to spank you, Alex?" Walter asked, seating himself on the couch and drawing Alex in front of him. 

"For caning Fox?" Alex asked. 

"That's right, Alex. I am the only one who can punish him. You are not allowed to punish Fox. No matter what he says, and especially not when you're scared. Do you understand me?" 

"Yes, Walter," Alex whispered. He fumbled ineffectually at his fly. 

"Come here, Alex. I know what I'm doing." Walter undid Alex's jeans; pushed both jeans and underwear to Alex's knees. With infinite gentleness, Walter tugged Alex face down over his lap. 

"What is this spanking for, Alex?" 

"For hurting Fox," Alex said. "For pretending I was fine and for hurting Fox." 

"That's right, Alex. This spanking is to remind you never to do that again." 

Walter rested his hand on Alex's milk white buttocks. Regarded the livid bruise on his hip, the older, less visible white scars that crisscrossed his ass and the back of his thighs. 

Alex shivered. Tried not to tense his muscles, knowing from hard experience that it would only make the punishment hurt more. 

Walter spanked Alex slowly and carefully. One deliberate swat after another, until a single layer of handprints covered Alex's ass. A single circuit of crisp pink splotches, no more. 

Walter helped Alex sit up. Drew Alex into his arms and rubbed his back. 

"Was that really worth all that fuss?" he asked. 

Dry-eyed, Alex huddled against him. 

"No one ever cut me any slack before," Alex whispered. "What I did to Fox was what they did to me, every fucking time." 

"It was wrong when you did it to Fox and it was wrong when they did it to you, Alex." Walter said quietly. "That's not punishment, that's abuse." 

"I don't like when you spank me," Alex said softly. 

"I don't like to spank you, Alex." Walter replied gently. "And if you tell me that you don't want spanking to be part of our relationship anymore, I'll accept that. I'll still love you. This will still be your home." 

Alex stayed very, very quiet for a long time, thinking. 

"I need--I need what we do, Walter," Alex said finally. "I'm all fucked up, Walter. I need you to teach me what's right. I need to know you'll punish me when I'm wrong. I need you to take care of me. I need you to spank me." 

Walter rubbed Alex's back in gentle understanding. Alex snuggled into Walter in utter silence, not talking, not crying. After a very long time, Alex took a deep breath. 

"I'm all right now, Walter," he said quietly, drawing himself upright. 

"I want you to lie down in our bedroom, Alex," Walter said. "I'll be in in a little while." 

Soberly, Alex obeyed. 

Fox returned from his walk feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He looked into the bedroom, caught sight of Alex curled sadly among the covers. 

"Hey," Fox said softly. Kicking off his sneakers, he slipped into bed and spooned cozily around Alex's back. "How are you doing, Alex?" 

Alex sniffled. Fox stroked his hair gently. 

Walter entered the room bearing a tray heaped with small sandwiches, a plate of cookies, and a cup of ginger ale. 

"Shove over a bit, Fox. Come on, Alex, sit up for me." Walter plumped pillows, eased Alex carefully back onto them. "Have a little something to drink." Walter held the soda to Alex's lips; was gratified to see him swallow reflexively. 

Fox reached over Alex and snagged a half sandwich. He munched contentedly. 

"This is nice, Walter," Fox said. "Come on, Alex, have a bite." He held the sandwich to Alex's mouth. Alex nibbled tentatively. 

"Good, Alex," praised Fox and Walter simultaneously. They smiled at each other. 

"You take care of me," Alex said softly, looking from one man to the other. "They never did." 

"We love you, Alex," Walter said. "We'll always take care of you." 

"You're ours," Fox said. "We love you." 

Alex nodded shakily. He reached tentatively for a cookie and chewed it slowly. His green eyes welled with unshed tears. 

Walter set the tray on the table beside the bed. He shrugged out of his shirt. Standing up, he undid his pants. Stepped out of them, removed his boxers. Stark naked, Walter lay down alongside Alex and drew Alex into his arms. 

Walter cupped Alex's face in his hands, kissed his eyelids lovingly and stroked the fine planes of his cheeks with gentle fingers. Turning Alex carefully onto his back, Walter began to undress him. 

Fox slipped out of his own clothing and stretched himself full length along Alex's other side. 

Alex lay quiescent as Walter stripped him. He allowed Fox and Walter to caress him as they chose. As Walter played gently with Alex's nipples with lips and fingers, Fox slipped one hand under Alex's head. Pressing their mouths together, Fox kissed Alex deeply. Meanwhile, with his other hand, Fox fondled Alex's balls and teased Alex's cock to hardness. 

Walter took the lube from their night table and flipped open the cap. 

"Roll over, Alex," Walter said insistently. Alex tensed. 

"Please, Walter, I'm scared," Alex whispered. "I don't want to hurt you." 

"You won't hurt me," Walter said reassuringly. "I'm ready for this, Alex. I want you so much." 

Fox kissed Alex. 

"Trust Walter, Alex," Fox said. "Don't be afraid. I'm right here with you, Alex, it's going to be all right. All you have to do is open your legs and relax. Come to me." Lying on his back, Fox maneuvered Alex on top of him. Aligned their cocks and grasped both of them together; worked them in his fist. 

Walter reached between Alex's legs and separated Alex's clenched buttocks. Coating his fingers with lube, he worked first one, then a second, into Alex's ass. 

"Easy, Alex, easy. Let me make you feel good." 

Alex bucked reflexively as Walter deliberately massaged his prostate. 

Fox tightened his hold on their pressed cocks. 

Sliding his fingers from Alex's ass, Walter slicked his own hard cock generously with lubricant. Laying the tube aside, he knelt behind Alex and began to press his cock deep inside. 

"I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared," Alex moaned, even as his cock grew harder under Fox's hand. 

Walter sighed luxuriantly. Moving slowly, he worked his cock deeper into Alex, enjoying the heated feel of his tight channel. Walter focused his mind on his current sensations, willing himself to forget that last, bad time. 

Fox came first, his explosion of cum slicking his hand so that it flew over Alex's cock. Alex arched his back, unable to resist the hot, wet stimulation. His ass tightened as he came with a groan. With a shout of pleasure, Walter shot his cum deep inside Alex, his creamy ejaculate easing his hard, final strokes. 

They lay in a sweaty, sated heap. Walter kissed first Alex, then Fox. 

"There's nothing like being home, in his own bed, to make a man happy," Walter said with a tired grin. "I love you, Fox. I love you, Alex." 

"I love you, Walter," Fox said. "Alex, I love you so much." 

"I thought I'd lost you," Alex said, in the softest of whispers. "I love you, Walter. I love you too, Fox." 

A smile of pure joy crossed Walter's face at Alex's words. His eyes shone with happy tears. 

"My brave, brave Alex," Walter said, his voice hoarse with love and pride. 

"You're ours, Alex," Fox said. "Forever." 

* * *

* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Elizabeth Marshall 


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